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| It's been awhile since I've last been on nightshift duty, ever since the permanent night shift was implemented... and in the wee hours of the morning, roughly 5:53am on my PC's clock, the mind starts to wander... and think about all the things that I've been thru, to end up at this point of my life... Family, friends, experiences, pets, girls... etc... you get the drift... And I must say, I'm truly one lucky sonofagun to have survived this far...
A poem by Robert Frost springs to mind:
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
First heard of him on a CD I bought by the group Indecisive... who are best known for the themesong for the Malaysian comedy series "Kopitiam"... hm my brain seems to be starting to ramble already...
Back to what I was talking about... I've got one life to lead, with an endless multitude of possibilities on how I want it to turn out... I actually have everything I ever need... but why do I feel so melancholy still? Maybe it's because I'm missing home... which is due to the fact that my doggie has heartworms... and she might not have long to live... Though she's lived a full life, just the thought of her life being cut short still bothers me deeply... I thought I had passed the stage where I could accept death as a part of life, but nonetheless it always comes back to the feeling of my own mortality... I know I shouldn't dwell on such morbid things, but I always have the question of time and death... I always fear leaving behind this world with regrets of things not done, people not loved enough, and even animals I haven't been around for... sigh...
Is it just me, or does everyone tend to overthink things and worry about things that have not come to pass yet? I guess it's just human nature... but being the paranoid cynic I am, I even question whether I am even thinking right now or is this whole existence just some sort of illusory world? Damn my brain feels awfully woozy... must be the side effects of the beer I had earlier... | | |
| I've always been a slacker,
Until it's become my second nature,
I've always been immature,
Looking like an Uncle and a failure...
In my life I've never met anyone,
Who'd give a damn about me more than myself,
Until a faithful day in December,
Whereby I found my other half.
She cares about me in a way,
That I never knew anyone could,
So much so that it confounded me,
And I was left speechless like wood.
I never expected,
That I could hurt her at all,
Because I never respected,
And that was my downfall.
Now is the time,
I make up for being blind,
Ignorance is not bliss,
Find my drive I will for your kiss.
Aqua - Be A Man
The world is quiet, like there is no one around,
but I feel you beside me.
I know the secrets, you keep locked away inside,
don't understand, why you are fighting.
I know, she must be special,
this new girl by your side,
I seek for answers, when I look into your eyes,
And it hurts like hell but I will be strong...
For once in your life, be a man,
just tell me the words, 'cause I know that you can,
don't leave me with scars, that no one can heal.
For once in your life - be a man.
You made me love you,
love you right from the start.
You're controlling my heart, babe.
Don't pack your bags yet.
Give me time to say goodbye. (Say goodbye.)
Just don't leave me wounded.
No, I just hope you will regret the things you do
Come back to me,
'cause our love is the real thing.
And it hurts like hell but I will be strong..
I knew that I, I fought to keep our love strong.
If you leave me now, you come running back for more, babe.
And I hope for, and I wish for,
and I pray, that the words from your mouth can,
eventually make you a man.
When everything stops...
...for a minute in your life,
I'll hope that,
For once in your life - be a man.
Tell me the words.
Once in your life.
Be a man.
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Lying here with you..
Listening to the rain..
Smiling just to see, the smile upon your face..
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive..
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life..
I found all I've waited for..
And I could not ask for more..
Looking in your eyes,
Seeing all I need..
Everything you are, is everything to me..
These are the moments..
I know heaven must exist..
These are the moments, I know all I need is this..
I have all I've waited for..
And I could not ask for more..
I could not ask for more than this time together..
I could not ask for more than this time with you..
Every prayer has been answered..
Every dream I have's come true..
And right here in this moment, is right where I'm meant to be..
Here with you here with me~~~
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive..
These are the moments I'll remember all my life..
I've got all I've waited for..
And I could not ask for more..
I could not ask for more than the love you give me,
'Coz it's all I've waited for..
And I could not ask for more..
I could not ask for more........
- Dedicated to my Dearie - | | |
| There's a lot of things I understand,
And there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know..
But you're the only face,
I recognize,
it's so damn sweet of you,
To look me in the eyes...
It's all right, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain,
I believe, I'm the same,
I get carried away...
It's alright, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain,
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet...
The scent of vaseline,
In the summertime,
The feel of an ice cube,
Melting over time,
The world seems bigger than both of us,
Yet it seems so small,
When I begin to cry...
It's all right, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I'm the same,
I get carried away...
It's alright, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain...
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet...
I'm so much better than you guessed,
I'm so much bigger than you guessed,
I'm so much brighter than you guessed.
It's all right, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain,
I believe, I'm the same,
I get carried away...
Its alright, I'm o.k.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,
I'll get off of your back...
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain. (I really do.) | | |
| Fuck.
It's 4am in the morning and I'm in office with a bloody headset on my head, staring at a computer screen, and freezing my ass off, and on top of that, I've got a fucking headache after being awake since 12pm on Saturday... What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit?
Sigh... Guess I already know the answer... I got myself into this shit... the consequences of being paid for what you do... But I would willingly sacrifice my S$280 shift allowance for normal working hours... Damnit! I've got so many things to blog about, but haven't done so, and I guess I won't be doing so too since the only thing on my mind now is how comfortable my bed is back in the apartment I'm renting... FUCK! 3 more fucking hours before I knock off... DOUBLE FUCK!!! The damn aircon is blowing right behind me and it's damn fucking FREEZING!!!... How much more of this torture can I take? What the fuck have I gotten myself into... Sigh...
It's times like these when I always wonder... Did I make the right choice in leaving my comfort zone and embarking on this journey that has no end? Guess that's the way life is... Unpredictable and always sticking something up your ass when you least expect it...
If God had a name, what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory,
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great...
Yeah, yeah, God is good...
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah...
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us...
Just a stranger on the bus...
Trying to make his way home...
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see,
If seeing meant that you would have to believe,
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints...
and all the prophets...
And yeah, yeah, God is great...
Yeah, yeah, God is good...
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah...
Trying to make his way home...
Back up to heaven all alone...
Nobody calling on the phone...
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome...
And yeah, yeah, God is great...
Yeah, yeah, God is good...
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah...
Just trying to make his way home...
Like a holy rolling stone...
Back up to heaven all alone...
Just trying to make his way home...
Nobody calling on the phone...
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome... | | |
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